I sat between two very unhappy ladies. Both had suffered at the hands of the same man.
He would ask for a dance, before he knew what the music was, and expect them to dance to whatever was playing.
Now neither of these ladies is what you would call advanced but then if this carries on they are never likely to be.
Now the first lady was asked to dance, then when a milonga played, she was told she was not advanced enough to do milonga and told to sit down.
The second lady was asked to dance and when something non tango was played, she was accused of bouncing “I can’t dance with you ” he said and sat her down. This despite the fact that the music was in fact bouncy, and the lady had never before danced “tango” to non tango music. (To me this is not in fact a failing)
I have said before, and I will say again, as often as it takes; “men your job out there is to make the women happy, make them believe they are the greatest dancer out there”. If you cannot do this, or the dance does not work, you and you alone are to blame.
If you watch those who know what they are doing, they never invite anyone to dance until they know what the music is. You will never see them, drop a woman mid tanda, or give any criticism. The lady in my arms is there to enjoy her dance and I will do everything in my power to ensure that happens.
A week previous to this, I danced with a relative beginner. After the dance was over she said “thank you, you made me feel like a beautiful dancer” I cannot start to tell you how good that made me feel. I could not care what anyone else in the room thought at that time. Her thanks made me feel top of the world.
We all have a duty, a duty to tango, but most of all to each other. We have a duty to make each other happy, to make our partner enjoy the dance and to ensure that it is such a pleasurable experience that they will come back time and again.
The old adage “If you cannot say anything good, then say nothing at all” is just as true in tango as elsewhere in life. If anything I would say it is more true.
You want great dancers? Then Coax, Compliment, aid the beginners on their way. They will become great dancers the sooner because of it, and that great dancer will remember you fondly and forever choose you for her next dance.