We all worry about what we look like on the dance floor. We also worry that our partner will be pleased with us. It is only natural. The fragile egos of tango dancers are easily damaged.
So we see women sitting waiting to dance and men to frightened to go and ask them. In the past I have often blamed the men for not having the guts to just go and ask, but I wonder, are the ladies also to blame; I have been dancing long enough now to realise that the women who criticise my dancing are themselves unsure of their abilities, but many men are put off from asking again.
I will never forget my first tango festival in Amsterdam, so many women picked on me and made me feel useless that in the end I would not dance with anyone else, even in the classes.
Tango is a great dance, but also a great experience. We dance the music, we dance close, and we dance every dance differently.
So next time someone criticises your dancing, forget the obvious arrogance that they think they are better than you. Forget that this is a milonga and they are not your teacher. No just remember this; Do they really want the same dance with you as they had with the last person they danced with? Or do they just want every dance to be the same?
You are unique and so hopefully is your dance. For anyone who wants to dance every dance the same, or just wants you to conform, I can recommend some very good sequence dance classes.
I saw her sitting alone, and as no men were asking I walked over and asked her to dance. Strange that someone young and attractive should not be dancing, so I explained that I choose to dance with women that I have never danced with because that is how the community grows. After the first tune of the tanda she criticised my embrace, “too close” she said. “I do my dancing in Buenos Aires” I told her that is how we dance there, “It is called Argentine Tango, the clue is in the name”. I think she wanted me to dance at a distance and lead with my arms, that was not going to happen. So she spent the rest of the tanda with a face like thunder and left without a “Thank you”.
She got other dances, but I suspect that they were all people she had done some open classes with. I never saw her in close hold again. I also noticed a lot of men sitting out when there were women who just wanted to dance.
How sad that men are put off by women like this and that both sexes are denied a good dance by a few thoughtless people.